Three brief thoughts about life, inspired by my dying camera.

Since returning to work in February, life has just been absolutely flying. I am hoping to have the time soon to write a more comprehensive article, but in the mean-time I thought I would share a few shorter pieces I have published on the Running Rare Instagram over the past few months inspired by my dying camera.

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Planning for uncertainty

This morning my camera wouldn't turn on. I tried the usual work-arounds. Turn the camera on, pop the battery whilst holding the shutter and then wait a moment. Re-insert the battery, cross your fingers and hope the camera turns on...

No luck. I repeated the process multiple times and still it wouldn't turn on.

Sometimes living with a chronic illness feels a little like this process. You think you've finally figured out what your body needs and then for no known reason the trick you've been using stops working. In these moments I have started to draw inspiration from an obscure source, css font-stacks.

In web development a font-stack is a list of fonts you want the website to use. It looks a little like this.

body {
font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;
}

In this example, the font stack is saying if the font 'Georgia' is available, use this as first preference. If 'Georgia' isn't available try using 'Times New Roman'. Finally if the first two options aren't available use any serif font you can find.

Similarly, in life I think we need font-stacks or fallbacks. For example, this year my fitness stack looks a little like this.

body {
fitness: Run, Social Exercise, Walk, HRV Breathing;
}

Before this year my stack was fitness = running, but this black and white approach didn't provide a backup plan if my body wasn't doing well. So I would end up doing nothing if I wasn't feeling great. My new fitness stack provides me grace and ensures I always have something to fallback on if I'm not doing well.

So, while I was sitting on the park bench this morning flipping the battery compartment of my camera open and closed repeatedly in an endless loop, I decided I should cut my losses... and take the photo on my phone. Thank you CSS font-stack for getting me out of this infinite loop.

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Choosing your focal length

I've shot with prime lenses for most of the time that I've owned a camera. A prime lens has a fixed focal length (meaning you can't zoom it in or out). The advantage of a prime lens over a zoom lens is both the large aperture you can achieve (this helps to shoot in lower lights and blur out the background more) and often the superior calibration of the optics. The major disadvantage of a prime lens is that it is fixed! So if the composition isn't correct, you need to physically move into a new position.

Additionally, when photographing with a prime lens you need to anticipate your subject and the context you'll be photographing in. This is to ensure that you use the appropriate lens for the situation. For example, a macro lens is fantastic for capturing close up details (photograph 1). However, you often need to be both stationary and shooting with a tri-pod because even the slightest of movements can shift the focus resulting in a blurred subject.

Contrastingly, a wide angle lens (photograph 2) is fantastic for capturing a broad context at the expense of close up detail. When shooting with wider angle lenses you can often shoot by hand, allowing you to be both more nimble and reactive.

I believe we can view life in a similar way. We can become caught using a lens to view life that is familiar or comfortable - regardless of whether it may be appropriate for the situation. How often do we get caught using a macro lens that fixates on the details of a situation, at the expense of the context. Or maybe we're using a wider angle lens that results in us losing sight of the details. Either way, having a fixed lens in the incorrect context leads to frustration, pain and misunderstanding. Contrastingly, using the right lens in the right context leads to pinpoint focus and incredible results.

I believe emotional maturity is knowing which lens is correct for the situation and becoming efficient at changing our lens when the situation requires it. But we must practice and become familiar with the advantages and disadvantages of the lens at our disposal and ultimately choosing the right one to use.

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Emotional Filters

This photograph was taken using a neutral density filter, a piece of tinted glass that sits in front of the camera's lens. The tinting of the neutral density filter reduces the amount of light hitting the camera's sensor. In practice, this allows you to expose the sensor for a longer period of time without over-exposing the photograph.

I think an interesting parallel can be drawn to our own lives. Without a filter we can allow all kinds of external pressures and stresses to have direct access to our emotional sensor, resulting in us becoming quickly overwhelmed and eventually burning out.

I am on such a journey with this, but I believe that learning and deploying filters such personal boundaries, positive and healthy habits, proactive emotional regulation among other behaviours allow us to take back control - providing us with more time to assess and respond to external situations. These filters will not cure or fix my condition, but they may help to improve my baseline of health.